Madame Web
Sony’s live-action “Spider-Man-Less Spider-Verse” continues to stumble along with this inoffensive but clumsy origin tale that neither works as a superhero movie or as a serial-killer thriller.
Premise: In 2009 New York, a near-death-experience triggers paramedic Cassandra Webb’s (Dakota Johnson) dormant psychic abilities. Seeing visions of a future in which three teenagers (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O'Connor) are murdered by a superpowered masked assailant, Cassandra attempts to keep them alive while also unravelling the origin of her powers.
Review:
Sony, bless them, are not shy about wanting to create their own shared cinematic universe to rival the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but the truth is, despite all of the talented people involved, the Sony films are simply not in the same league as the MCU. I thought that the first Venom film was a huge missed opportunity that descended into an incoherent CGI mess in the final act, and while the sequel was an improvement, it was still nowhere near the standard of the top-tier MCU movies (and the less said about Morbius, the better). Madame Web is by no means an unwatchable trainwreck, but it’s also a bit of a mess and ultimately feels like another missed opportunity.
As with the other Sony films, I don’t necessarily blame any of the cast for the film’s failings. Dakota Johnson brings some genuine spark to her character, and gets to add a little spikiness alongside the clumsy exposition she’s saddled with, but the rest of the cast aren’t nearly as lucky. Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O'Connor are essentially little more than architypes (the quiet one, the sensible one and the wild one), and poor Tahar Rahim does the best he can with the underwritten villain Ezekiel Sims, but his entire story-arc and character motivation makes very little sense as soon as you stop to think about it at all. At least Adam Scott and Emma Roberts get to have a bit of fun in their extended cameos (and Adam Scott does have some great chemistry with Dakota Johnson in their scenes together), but even then, weaving “Uncle Ben” and “Aunt May” Parker into the story feels unnecessary and gratuitous (and emblematic of Sony’s repeated habit of including teasers about Spider-Man in their entirely Spider-Man-free cinematic universe).
“…the marketing for the film was deceitful & the actual film is a mess…”
In fact, Sony’s marketing of this film has arguably been wilfully misleading, with the trailers and TV-spots focusing heavily on shots of Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O'Connor in costume as “Spider-Woman” Julia Carpenter, “Spider-Girl” Anya Corazon, and “Spider-Woman” Mattie Franklin. This was presumably done to make the film look more like a traditional superhero movie, and to plug the spider-hero-shaped gap left in the Sony films by the absence of Spider-Man. But it’s a complete lie – the characters only appear in costume in a dream/vision sequence that lasts no more than 30 seconds, yet the marketing would have you believe the film is all about the three spider-heroines confronting the spider-powered Ezekiel Sims.
It’s difficult to want to give Sony the benefit of the doubt when the marketing for the film was so deceitful, and the actual film is such a mess. I don’t necessarily want to blame director S.J. Clarkson when I don’t know how much studio interference there was (and the fact that this was co-written by the writers of Morbius suggests there’s plenty of blame to go around), but the plotting is clumsy and disjointed – for example, in the middle of a chase sequence, Cassandra decides to leave the teenagers she’s protecting in New York while she flies to Peru for a week! Imagine if Kyle Reece had hopped on a flight to the Bahamas halfway through The Terminator and left Sarah Conner with the cops for a week...?! It really dissipates any sense of urgency or danger, and robs the film of the propulsive energy that a story like this needs.
“…a fairly two-dimensional thriller with poorly written characters…”
While the film is perfectly watchable (and individual scenes and lines can work in isolation), there’s little to recommend giving up 2 hours of your life for a film that has so little to offer. At best it’s a fairly two-dimensional thriller with poorly written characters, a predictable plot and clumsy dialogue, and at worst, it could potentially damage the Marvel brand for those audience members who can’t distinguish between the Marvel and Sony cinematic universes from each other. You could also say that it’s an origin story that wants to set up a sequel for characters who we are certain never to see again, so really, what is the point?
